Bounce by August Noelle

Author:August, Noelle [August, Noelle]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9780062331113
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2015-07-21T07:00:00+00:00

Chapter 24

Skyler

Sometimes, it feels like this movie is more real than my real life.

Or maybe it’s that the movie feels like the life I wish I had—one where I feel witty, charming, and just perfectly delightful all day, every day. Of course, it helps to have someone else write your lines, tell you how to stand, where to be.

I watch the dailies every now and then, and I’m amazed. The lighting, the makeup, the clothing—all of it makes me look so different from how I see myself. Makeup makes my lips look full and glossy, inviting. My features contoured to perfection. My posture, mannerisms—all of it feels like some other girl. One with perfectly fitted clothes. With the right words for every moment.

And I have to admit, the yes-girl in me, the go-to girl, likes the attention, likes knowing I’m good at this, that I’m making people happy. I know music does that for me, too, but this is different. I feel like I’m carrying more here, like it’s not just for me but for my mother and brother, for all the people gathered on set, and—eventually—for an audience much larger than any I’ve ever played to before.

Beth and I sit at a table in a fake coffee shop together, goofing around between takes while Kaitlin and Bernadette fuss over the jacket I’m wearing. It’s pulling across my upper arms, which are not dainty LA arms, elegantly sculpted through a billion hours of yogalates, but super muscled from dragging my cellos around for years. And to make it all more frown-worthy, apparently my bow arm’s a good inch larger, which makes me feel like some kind of freak. Half girl, half fiddler crab.

“On the plus side, we had to take in your skirt a little,” Bernadette says, peeling the toffee-colored jacket, which I really loved, off me and handing it to Kaitlin.

“Is that going to be weird?” I ask. “I mean for continuity. If I keep losing weight?”

She laughs. “That would be an awesome problem to have, right? It’ll be okay. I doubt you can make a drastic enough change in the next six weeks to really screw up the visuals. But it’ll help everything lay better. And definitely help when we’re on to the beach stuff.”

Right. We’re heading to Virgin Gorda in a few weeks to film the big finale. Which means bathing suits. Lots of skin.

“Just keep doing what you’re doing,” Bernadette adds.

“Girl’s hardly eating,” Beth mutters.

Bernadette heads off with Kaitlin to find me something different to wear.

“I’m eating.” Just not as much. Or as often. “I just want to look good, Bets.”

She doesn’t have to worry about it, I think. She’s model-tall and a perfect size four, top and bottom. And she’s not the lead.

I take a couple more of Kaitlin’s supplements, swallowing them down with black coffee, which is cold now and tastes like charred feet. My head feels a little buzzy, and my stomach growls to remind me I haven’t actually had anything to eat yet today.

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